Monday, March 26, 2018

AIRPORT PARTY!!!!!

AIRPORT PARTY!!!! HOMECOMING DETAILS!!!!!! MICAH AND I ARE COMING HOME!!!!!


But first, our Micah Attachment Plan!


Bahahah, I tricked you into opening this post! But don't worry, airport details will follow at the bottom. ;)



Now you may be thinking: an attachment plan? What???? What does that even mean? Why would they need one? Aren't they getting an older child? 



An attachment plan is just what it sounds like. We have to figure out how to make Micah trust us, bond with us, depend on us, and realize that we will NEVER leave him and that we will ALWAYS care for him. 



Micah has a personal history that we will not be sharing or discussing. Adopted children often experience multiple traumas, including, but not limited to: abandonment, witness to extreme trauma, abuse, and/or moving multiple times with no warning or explanation. They often have had numerous adults in their life (none of them permanent) and communication barriers (or no communication at all) with their care-givers for years. They have lost their biological families. Considering these and many other possible scenarios that may or may not have been part of Micah’s experiences, it can only be expected that he will have attachment issues. We want him to learn that WE are his parents forever, and we want him to know that it is safe to attach to us. We do not want him trying to attach or depend on others. 


Also, while Micah WANTS desperately to be with us, he is still losing EVERYTHING he has ever known. Everything. This will result in incredibly deep pain and sorrow. And grieving. This is not our first time around the block. We cannot fathom what our kids are going through, but we can empathize and feel FOR them. And we do our best to protect them, especially during this transition. 



Therefore: attachment-plan-a-la-Ruper. :)


So here is what we have decided. On our "airport day", the day when we finally come home with the Micah (March 28th, 2:15pm, wink wink*), anyone and everyone is welcome to come to the airport. We WANT as many people there as want to come, to celebrate one of the happiest moments and greatest victories of our lives. :) Please be there!!!!! 



On the "airport day", you can bring balloons and signs and cameras. Basically, it's a party, except that we ask you do not GIVE Micah anything, and also that you do not TOUCH him. No hugs or kisses. THIS. APPLIES. TO EVERYONE. No exceptions. Remember, you have seen pictures of him, but he does not know who most of you are. Imagine being taken from everything and everyone you know, leaving with the one person you can only superficially communicate with, and not in your wildest imagination be able to envision where you are going. Imagine leaving a courtyard with small wooden buildings (no electricity) where you sleep and then coming to America on a PLANE. Imagine being surrounded on the trip home by thousands of people you don't know, who do not speak your language, and being exhausted and given unfamiliar food and being forced through airport security and customs. Imagine FINALLY landing after 30+ hours of traveling and being greeted by a large group of unknown white people (when you are used to seeing brown skin) and all of them want to touch and hug and kiss you. They are all staring at you. Some are crying, some are grinning. And you can't ask what's going on, who they are, or what's happening. Completely overwhelming. So we've decided that we cannot allow anyone to touch Micah. NO ONE. Period. Thank you for your understanding and please feel free to hug me and Abe! ;)


*IMPORTANT NOTE* You may take as many pictures as you want, but you cannot post them yet. If you come to the airport party, you will know why, and Abe will clarify for you at that time. Again, NO POSTING AIRPORT PICTURES. See Abe with questions. 



Also, no presents, no snacks, etc. Thank you so much for your generosity but he needs to learn that everything he need comes from us. This will do wonders in helping him attach to us and learn to trust and love us. (PS, if you want to SEND presents, or give them to me and Abe to give to him at our discretion, that is fine with us. :))



After the "airport day", we will be staying home as a family to work on our new "normal" and to start bonding as a family. We will not be allowing visitors at all for about 5-8 weeks. During this time we will work on teaching him to trust us. Eight weeks may seem like a long time, but it really isn't. If we happen to make a trip as a family and you see us, feel free to say hello and chat but please do not touch Micah or give him anything. You CAN talk to him and interact though; I'm sure he would love it. :)



After eight weeks, we will allow family and close friends to visit us if they want. During these visits, you are welcome to play with and communicate with Micah! :) We would love that. And we are sure he will too. You are extremely important in his life. The only clause is: (say it with me!) that you may not touch him  (no hugs or kisses) and you may not give him anything. No presents. No giving him a drink if he is thirsty. No feeding him. No helping him complete a task. Abe and I will be taking care of that to ensure he knows WE are his caretakers, even in the presence of other adults. 



After ten-twelve weeks, we will evaluate how we feel Micah is doing and figure out how we will proceed from there.



Now lots of people have been asking, "But last time, you didn't have any other kids. You can't put everyone’s lives on hold for 8-12 weeks! They can't stay home that long. And what about their activities? What about church? What about ___________ (fill in the blank)????



Actually, we've decided to make all of our kids become shut-ins and heathens. We don't want them to have fun, and we'd like to end their social lives. 


Or not. :)



Don't worry!!!! :) Our kids have personally experienced this (and they all turned our amazing!) and COMPLETELY understand and agree with our attachment plan. And they are DYING to spend extended time with Micah. We’ve got this on lock. The kids will continue with their normal lives. And we will be doing activities as a family. Living our lives. Basically, they are going to be FINE! :) No worries. We are just focusing on bonding as a family at the same time. :)



Thank you for your understanding! We love you all, are so glad to have you in our lives, and can't wait to introduce you to our precious Micah!!!! 



Now for the coveted flight details!!! We are flying into our home city, of course. We will be coming in from Dulles, on a United flight, on Wednesday, March 28th. Scheduled to land at 2:15pm. Basically, go to the airport and go up the escalator. Go all the way left. That's it! If anything changes, I will post it to my Facebook. 


Hope to see you there! LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!


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