Forget Kung Fu Panda

Public Service Announcemet: Parents, do not allow your kids to perform any Kung Fu Panda moves on you, even in gentle play!


Okay, even with the title of this post and my "PSA", I love Kung Fu Panda. I really do. It's a really cute movie. I'm just blaming because I can't blame the actual people in this story, and I need SOMETHING to blame! :)

So now you're probably wondering: what is she talking about? But I know you are smart enough to know someone got injured. And that it involved child martial arts.

It was around 8pm the other night and we were just getting ready for bed. The kids were super excited to see Abe and for some reason, Z decided she wanted to demonstrate her "Kung Fu Panda" moves. She and Levi had a cute stunt set up where she spins and "kicks" him and he falls dead to the ground. It's really funny to watch. They performed it for Abe, and then she and Abe acted it out. That was even funnier. A 4'2 tiny baby girl takes down her 6'2 father with some spinning dervish moves. So when she came after me, I joined the acting too. It was all fine right up until I thought she was done and was talking to Abe. She was crouched down in front of me facing away, and I bent over to kiss her or something--just as she came straight up and back, full force. All 63lb of her slammed dead up and into my jaw.

It sounded like a gunshot. I FELT my teeth break. Once, a year or so ago, I had a nightmare once that a bunch of my teeth fell out. Standing there in shock and pain, I wondered if it had come true. I could feel pieces of teeth in my mouth. I ran to the bathroom and started spitting into the sink. It felt surreal, but I knew it wasn't. My jaw was throbbing and my mouth was gritty. I was scared to look in the mirror but I forced myself to. It was blantantly obvious where the worst had hit: four teeth had chunks missing out of them. Not tiny chips; CHUNKS. Literally sheared off by the force of my teeth being driven together. And all the seriously damaged teeth were in the front of my mouth (mostly on the left side). I took a deep breath. "It's not the end of the world," I told myself. "This can be fixed." I didn't cry. I didn't freak out. I wanted to, but what was the use? It was too late. Over. Nothing could be done, so why flip? Plus, I felt SO bad for Z. After rinsing my mouth (which was killing me), I tried to comfort the kids, who were beyond upset. I went to bed with my jaw pounding and aching.

At work the next morning (4am), I called my dentist office and left a message. Thankfully, they called me back later and told me to come in for 8am. I went straight there and everyone was so awesome. The hygenist was gentle and my dentist came right over to check on me. His first words after looking at my mouth were, "Wow, she got you GOOD." Seven chipped/broken teeth and one cracked (although we aren't sure if the crack-a hairline- was already started and worsened or if it was a direct result of the 'Kung Fu'). My entire jaw bruised from the trauma. Most of my teeth bruised from the trauma. My dentist told me, "I can't believe how hard you got hit. You're really lucky you have an overbite and got hit from underneath, although of course you aren't lucky. But if you had been hit from the side at this force, you would have lost a bunch of teeth." He then explained that some of my teeth were now really thin and he had to file them down so they wouldn't break (I have to be careful when I eat now) and that some of my chips couldn't be fiIled because of their location. I spent almost two hours there while they cleaned, smoothed, filed down, filled, and reshaped my teeth. I teased my dentist, "This is so unfair! I have a perfect tooth record and now I am going to lose it because there is cement in my mouth!" He said, "Oh no, you still have a perfect record! This wasn't your fault; it's not a cavity or anything, so it doesn't count." He also explained that I had been hit so hard that the nerves in several of my teeth may have been killed, but that it will take six months to know. If the nerves are dead, those teeth will have to be pulled. He said, "I'm so sorry. All we can do is wait and see." Fun times. So if you would like to pray that I don't lose some of my teeth, I would REALLY appreciate it!

Oddly enough, I am not upset about the whole thing. I am a little bit sad;  I mean, it hurts and I HAD nice teeth and now they are a bit funky, but it could have been so much worse. And I didn't lose any teeth (yet.....). And I've had great teeth my entire life, and they still look pretty good, thanks to my magic dentist. And Z isn't hurt. And I have a crazy story I get to tell and everyone feels bad for me and feeds me ice cream. ;) So everything's okay. :)