It's Mother's Day. And it's been wonderful. But I'm crying tears of sorrow.
Today, while my heart is full, it breaks. It breaks for HER.
I am thinking of another mother. Of a woman whose arms are empty. Who can no longer hold two precious babies; can no longer kiss two sweet faces, can no longer see their sunshine smiles. My children's first mommy. The one who gave birth to them, who heard their first cries, who saw their first steps. The woman who loved them first.
I will never know their yesterdays, their childhood memories that she treasures in her heart. They are lost to me. And she will never know their tomorrows.
She is only a few years older than me, although the space between our life experiences make it seem impossible. She is tiny, and so beautiful that it hurts. She is brave beyond words.
She is a mother who is in love with her children. And she chose life for them. Twice. Once, when she realized she was carrying a precious gift, and once when she realized she was dying.
This is a woman who unselfishly saved her children from poverty and the streets. When she could no longer care for them, she gave them up, praying someone would help them. Can you imagine loving your children enough to give them to another person? Someone you don't know? Someone you didn't meet until after you had given your precious babies away? Can you imagine sending them to a different continent, know you will probably never see them again? I can't. I've only had them in my arms for six months and just the thought of losing them tears me up inside and makes me hug them tighter.
I think of her, today more than ever. I remember the day we met; remember us sobbing in each other's arms, gripping each other like a lifeline, and making promises with our eyes. I remember her, tears streaming down her beautiful face, saying, ""I want them to know that I worked so hard for them. I took care of them all by myself and I tried so hard. I want them to know I love them so much and I am dying so I cannot care for them. I will die soon. I did my best for them. I give them to you. All responsibility I give to you before God. I give you my children. I give them to you before God."
She and I don't speak the same language, but we don't have to. When she put her children in my arms, we understood each other. I know her heart was (and still) is breaking. I know she is entrusting me with the most precious gift she has. I know she loves them beyond what any words could describe. And she knows I will love her children with my life, I will fiercely protect them, I will cherish and adore them. I will not let them forget her, or the sacrifices she made for them.
She and I are eternally linked. Through a promise to each other, and through the love we share for the same children. Our children.
Happy Mother's Day W***. We love you.