A Month of Thanksgiving

First, I need to say a HUGE thank you! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!! You all are so amazing and Abe and I are SOOOOOO grateful for all the support we were shown from the minute we stepped off the plane. It was completely amazing to walk out the airport doors and see so many happy faces there to greet us. We cannot tell you what it meant to us, having you there with signs and balloons and HUGE grins!!!! After 3 years of fighting and 30 hours of travel, we were so grateful to see so many faces who love us. Thank you also to everyone who couldn't be there but was praying for us and thinking of us. We love you guys soooooooooooo much!!!!!!!


Thank you everyone for respecting our wishes and not approaching the kids. They were so overwhelmed and you guys were incredible. Levi talks about the airport all the time. He will be like, "I saw so-and-so, and so-and-so, and so-and-so," and point to your picture and I will say, "Yes, and they love you SO much!", and he will smile and duck his head. :)


Second I need to say another HUGE thank you to some special friends who made our coming home and first week amazing and easy! We were driven home by the lovely Jamie, and we arrived to find our house stuffed with ballons, cards, welcome home signs, and a refrigerator and freezer full of food and meals. We had pot roast, pork roasts, pizzas, lasagnas, frozen meals, and fruit and veggies galore. Even just two days ago, someone dropped off a delicious meal of homemade mac and cheese, salad, bread, and ice cream. HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY?????? This is unbelievable. The support and love you have shown us has blown our minds.


I also need to say thank you for the cards and giftcards. We have literally received SOOOOO many giftcards to Target and Wal*Mart (thank you for clothing our children) as well as to other stores, that we have been able to purchase everything our kids need from your generosity. We are STILL getting cards in the mail!!!!! We even received cards from families I knew when I was little, but who I haven't seen in YEARS. Like, since I was 15 or 16. Over a decade. Seriously, you guys all make me want to cry. I am so blessed.


So how is it being home after two weeks and having the kids full time for a total of three weeks?


Ummm, AMAZING.


Nothing can describe this. Having my two babies HOME is absolutely incredible. It's been three weeks home (and one month together) and I can't imagine life without them. They are an extension of us; part of us. Was the first week totally different than life as we have known it? Yes. Was it a little tough being tied to two kids and having them 24/7? Of course! (We are talking about ME here, Miss Independent and Always On The Run....I've spent more time in my house in one day than I have in the entire time we have lived here.) Did I think, "OMG, what have I done?!?!?!?!?" Several times. Did I wonder why I had thought we could handle a teenager? Once. It's completely normal. Our life has changed. Many mothers experience post-partum depression when they have a baby. It's hard when everything changes and your life goes crazy. I am so thankful that we have had it VERY easy, and that the first week was simply adjusting and trying to figure out a new schedule and routine that works for all of us. Really, about four days in was the hardest, and everything has been downhill from there. By the end of week one, we were grooving. End of week two, loving the groove and ready to bring home two more kids ASAP. Yeah that's right. It's gonna happen. Not right away, but it will. Bring on the babies! :)


Here's our routine so far. It's been working great. I work 4am and get home at 7:30am and then Abe leaves for work. The kids and I make breakfast together and set the table. The kids are AMAZING. Soooooooooo helpful and they always want to do everything with me, which is great, because we have plenty of time, and they need to learn a lot of American basic life skills. :) Z LOVES making eggs in the morning. We cook together and then we eat together. After breakfast, Levi does the dishes (his favorite chore). Zahria sweeps the floors and stairs. I pick up anything around the house, start the laundry or whatever, and then run and do my makeup. We all meet back downstairs and read Bible stories and then do schoolwork. We do school for about three hours or so (the kids are super smart and they love to learn). Then we make lunch, eat it, and clean up together. After, we play with JD in the yard, and then go running, or play basketball, or do P90X (Levi is obsessed with it, and he is GOOD!). In the afternoon we color or play games, and then often Skype with their ET friends. We then make dinner, eat it with Daddy, clean up, and get ready for bed. The kids sleep 12 hours and are used to going to bed when it gets dark, so 7pm-7:30pm is bedtime. By that point, not even gonna lie, we pretty much go to bed too. We are both shot by that point. They kids are AMAZING, and they also take all our energy. Plus I wake up at 3am pretty much on a daily basis for work, so I'm readyf or sleep anyway. Weekends have been a great time of family hangout and fun.


So what have done since we've been home?

-Zoo
-Playground
-Met a few people
-P90X
-Running
-Made paper chains, Thanksgiving turkeys
-Coloring
-Board games and card games
-Grocery Shopping
-Clothes shopping
-First doctor visit
-Small waterfall
-Playdough
-Paintingsticker books
-Homeschooling
-Skypingwith friends
-Made cookies
-Made a movie "David and Goliath" (the kids were hysterically cute and Abe totally put his pride on the line and showed what a great father he was by letting Z put a pink crown on him and also wearing tinfoil armor and allowing us to put en eyeliner beard and moustache on his face. LOVE THIS MAN.)


The kids have been angels. I keep waiting for the honeymoon phase to drop and the war to start but so far, parenting these two has been a piece of cake. They are amazing kids and have been trained and raised so well. They are so respectful and helpful that it is literally not possible. I am so thankful to their mother and the other people who cared for them and taught them how to act and live. I can in no way take credit for their stellar behavior but am forever blessed by it. I couldn't ask for better kids. I LOVE having them around, I love being with them, I love living LIFE with them. Listening to them laugh is the best thing ever (and they do that a LOT). They say the cutest things, do the cutest things, and are all out awesome.

Levi:

Levi is my handsome young man. He has been great; is always trying to learn new signs and asking for the "name" (spelling) of something. He works so hard at his school and is always so willing to help me. He will NOT let me do the dishes. Like, ever. I have to trick him into watching a movie and then do them sometimes, and he yells at me after. He is also always convinced that I should eat half his food. He will NOT be affectionate to me in public (a cultural thing) or around Abe, but in the house when it is just us and Z, he will hold my hand or hug me and he says "I love you, Mom" about a bazillion times a day. We have this thing where he says, "I love you," and I say, "I love you SOOOOOOOOOO much!", and he says, "I love you SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! S-O  M-U-C-H!!!!" He also is constantly telling me I am beautiful. He especially says this after I have my makeup on........... :-D He's also made up a sign for "I-REALLY-LOVE-YOU-MOM". He is SO expressive and loves to tell me stories or describe stuff. He is going to be KILLER at ASL. So proud of him. He is an amazing kid and I have no idea why I am so blessed to have him in my life.

He is also in an American-only phase. He will not read in Amharic. He will not use Amharic Sign Language. I wanted to videotape him signing in Amharic before he forgets but he is constantly tell me, "AMHARIC NO. ME ENGLISH." He says that about everything. He wants American Sign Language. English reading/writing. American food (he loves pizza especially). He is always pointing to an American flag and saying, "MOM, ME-LOVE." I'm like, "I know sweetie." He is beyond precious.


Zahria:

Zahria is our sunshine. That baby girl is constantly laughing or being silly. She is a RIOT. I wish I could record everything she does. Luckily, she loves the camera and lets me get a lot more pictures and videos of her than Levi does. She is my helper and is always running around by herself and finding ways to help me; she folded laundry when I was with Levi, and she sweeps and dusts and does whatever cleaning her little hands can find. She loves to run the washing machine and dryer; she will follow me around and say, "Mom! Laundry! Mom! MOM!" She is shy in public but at home and with her brother, she is crazy. She is also agressive....we were playing basketball with Grandpa Brian and she was bodyslamming him and Levi for the ball! She actually stole it a few times and at one point she and Levi both jumped for the ball, both missed, and slammed DIRECTLY into each other mid-air. It could have been an NBA move. They narrowly missed hitting Abe's car as they fell, landed on the pavement both laughing, and then Z jumped up and grabbed the ball and took off. Abe and I were DYING. The kid is COMPETITIVE.

These kids are also so much like us that it's scary. 

Z can't do anything (play, school, whatever) unless all the cleaning is done. She can't focus. She's gotta wash all the dishes and fold laundry with me before a movie. She's crazy competitive. She has to get everything 100% perfect. Period. Angry Birds score of 1 or 2 stars? No way. She will stay on a level till she passes with 3 stars. Always. Produce a sign wrong or say a word wrong? She will go, "A-gan (again), a-gan!" and do it over and over until it is perfect.  She loves getting her hair and nails done. She talks in her sleep. She cries like me (no sound, and just a few tears.)  She's like Abe in that she LOVES taking her time with things and playing games that require patience and thinking. She's like Abe in that she is brilliant in math and she loves to learn in general. She loves music. Also like her daddy, she will give me the clothes off her back and food off her plate, literally. 

Levi is so much like Abe. Chill, sweet, beyond helpful, totally selfless. Always putting others first. (He also wants hair like Abe's; he talks about this EVERY. DAY.) Good at basketball (he's also awesome at soccer!). Takes care of his family: if Z is sad or needs help he takes care of her or helps her (or anyone who needs it). He (generally) dislikes having his picture/video taken. He sleeps like the dead (literally can NOT be woken. Trust me, Abe and I have tried!) He's like me in that he likes quick decisions and action, minimal details. Slow, thoughtful processing and strategy bore him (us) to tears. He loves to read (although his version is looking at pictures and making up the stories since he can't read English). He has two chapsticks on him 24/7. Yes, that's right, he sleeps with them. (He's a child after my own heart!) He loves avacados and mangoes. He's a clean freak. He loves music.

I wish I could record everything that has happened the past few weeks. The kids say and do so many funy and sweet things. And they have had so many firsts these past few weeks! First hot chocolate, first ice cream, first time living with electricity and running water, first time picking out their outfit from their OWN clothes, first Thanksgiving, first time making cookies, first time trying to ride a bike.

What's the hardest part of all this? It's actually that both kids need exposure to language, only they are both trying to learn TWO languages (ASL and English) andddddddddddddd I can't do both at once. So everything takes twice as long. For example: I will read a Bible story in English while both kids look at the pictures and then Z will hold the Bible and turn the pages and I will sign the stories for them both. Z signs almost as much as Levi which is amazing and awesome, but it is still hard. Also extremely hard is the fact that Levi has had almost no education and he does not have a language yet period, but he wants to do school. Thankfully, both kids are super smart and eager to learn.

Things I have learned over the past month:

1. I LIKE staying home with my kids (although I do miss my crazy old schedule. Life is still crazy, just different crazy. :-p)

2. I can lie (not sleep!) on the edge of a bed with a tiny 200 degree Ethiopian grip-locked around my neck for 11 hours straight for three consecutive nights to scare away bad dreams. (I lost all feeling in my left shoulder and arm those nights haha).

3. I still don't like to cook.

4. Cornrowing hair that is 1-1.5" long IS possible. Barely. But it CAN happen.  

5. My 8-year old is going to know more math than me within two years. #babyengineer #daddysgirl

6. Being a mommy and doing your makeup is still totally manageable, it just takes a little planning

7. The past 4 years were INSANE and almost killed me and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I would I am doing it again. ASAP.

8. There is nothing like my daughter being wrapped around my leg and saying firmly, "Mom work-work-work? NO. Mom STAY. Work-work-work? No no no," and shaking her head while squeezing my leg with all 57lb of her tiny self.

9. My heart can explode and yet still function when my son (who by every right should be a hate-filled, bitter child) randomly signs, "MOM, I-LOVE-YOU. I REALLY LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

10. My husband is a sexy daddy. Especially with an eyeliner beard and tinfoil armor, or cardboard ears and a tail (long story, we made a movie of David and Goliath, or as Z says, "Dawit and Go-lee-ath!"). 

Embassy Donation List

Okay, I have to say THANK YOU to everyone who has donated supplies for this embassy trip. Our house was literally STUFFED! I am SO grateful! And the orphanages will appreciate more than I can tell you!!! Below I have made a list (I tried to count everything) of what we have received! We literally have 200lb of donations going with us. All with my unique identifying zebra tape......hey! It worked last time! Even the Ethiopian men at the airport who brought me a cart thought it was great. :)

                                                    (Click on the picture to see it full size.)


Embassy Donation List:

55 Beanie Babies
14 Pencil Sharpeners
7 Slinkies
27 boxes of crayons
2 packages Kleenex towels
120 toothbrushes
153 chapsticks
57 adoption bracelets
7 jump ropes
100+ balloons
1 balloon pump
3 hackey sacks
3 balls
3 yoyos
3 large boxes of gronola bars
1 large bag of fruit snacks
24 kids sunglasses
30 toy jewel rings
44 jumping frogs
53 matchbox cars
100+ small toys
5 paddles and balls
4 pads paper
8 decks of card games and flashcards
50+ stickers
13 plastic necklaces
14 packs of gum
103 flosses
6 soaps
5 Desitin
4 lotions
10 pairs scrubs
20 pairs of shoes
4 small formula packets
8 bottle nipples
2 triple Antibiotic ointments
2 A+D ointments
21 toothpastes
1 baby rattle
2 bags cough drops
1 Iron Drops
1 Vitamin D drops
19 boxes bandaids
1 box alcohol wipes
4 bottles multivitamins
1 Robitussin
3 Benadryl
5 Tylenol
2 dry erase boards
2 puzzles
8 books
6 boxes markers
18 boxes pencils
11 boxes colored pencils
1 box of erasers
1 bag of pens
1 box eye of eye patches
10 bottles of bubbles
16 bottles pain reliever
16 bottles Cough + Cold relief
40 bags of clothes (Obviously I can't take them ALL, but the rest are at Goodwill and shelters! :))
 $360 cash to buy formula in country for the infants!



THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!

Miracles

This past week I've been a cranky mess. Matt and Marina are flying out Saturday (and now we are going with them, but hold that thought!) and I was so frustrated and stressed because I desperately wanted to be on that plane with them. I wanted to travel with good friends, and I wanted my daughter to feel safe because her friend would be with her. And I was done waiting. I was near a breaking point. Exhausted and heartsick, I cried multiple times a day this whole week.

Fast forward to Friday the 19th. I don't know if it was God giving me a hint or my own stubborn self trying to force something to happen, but I started feeling like we were going. So I started believing that we were going. Going on Saturday the 27th. I even wrote a post about it (although I held off actually posting it because I didn't want people asking about the trip when there actually was no trip at that point). We spent the weekend shopping for donations and minimal outfits for the kids (how do you shop when you don't know their sizes? Weight charts and eye-balking pictures!!!). Then we packed. I sorted and rearranged and went all out crazy the entire weekend. Abe is a saint for putting up with me. I also spent all Saturday crying. Like EVERY. TEN. MINUTES. Allllllllll afternoon. Every movie we watched while packing made me start the waterworks. "What To Expect When You're Expecting" (total trash by the way and completely inaccurate), "Killers", "Beethoven". Cry cry cry. Abe just sat there and snuggled me and let me be a mess. (Thanks babe <3 I love you!)

By Sunday afternoon, I was done with the waiting and inaction. I had to DO something. I emailed my travel agent and asked about getting on Matt and Marina's flight the following Saturday. At 9pm or so that night, I got an email back from her (who does that? They were CLOSED. How awesome is SHE?!?!?!) with a quote of $1,600 per ticket with that flight being open. For our court trip, tickets were $2,300 each. I started freaking out again. What if the embassy didn't give us our date and we couldn't catch the flight? What if the birth parent interview (BPI) went awry? What if we didn't clear embassy????

Sunday night I went to sleep and got up at 3am for work. Worked two torturous hours and then at 6am (the time of the BPI) I started checking my email every other minute or so. Wore my phone battery down before I even left work to head to my next job. Abe had to come bring me my charger.

Ethiopian embassy closes at 10am EST (5pm their time). 7am hit. 8am. 9am. I met with my mentee and sat down with her to give her feedback on a project. And lo and behold, at 9:17am an email made my phone buzz and I jumped at it like it was a live bomb. We had CLEARED!!!!!!!!! I emailed back that instant with dates we wanted to go (I gave them three days for next week) but they did not respond before closing for the day. I was more tense than before now. We didn't want to announce it because we didn't have confirmed travel and we still weren't sure if we were making on M&M's flight AND even if we did, flight prices could wreck us.

I didn't hear anything from my travel agent all day yesterday. I knew she was probably crazy busy and I didn't have an appointment with the embassy anyway, so there was no point in bothering her. Around 9pm that night (LAST NIGHT :)), she called me. And told me of a miracle. Here's how our conversation went:

Agent: "Marissa, it's me! I'm so sorry I couldn't get back to you. I was slammed all day!"

Me: "No problem! Thanks so much for calling me."

Agent: "Okay, you're all set. I've booked your flights."

Me: confused/stunned/??????/silence.

Agent: "I know you really wanted to get on that flight and the only way to hold them was to book them. So I did, and I processes it as cash so they would go through and I have 24 hours to cancel them! If embassy doesn't give you a date, let me know so I can cancel."

Me: "OH MY WORD!!!!!! You're amazing!!!!!!!

Agent: "It gets better! Tickets are cheaper than what I had quoted you! $1,500 each for you and Abe and $1,350 for each kid!!!!

Me: "That's amazing!!!!!"

Agent: "Yes! So I already booked them. But there weren't any seats left for the kids on that return flight. You and Abe were the last two."

Me: ................

Agent: "So I wait-listed the kids and called Washington, DC, and spoke to the airline manager and told them we need two priority/emergency seats for your kids since you are already on that flight. Those seats will be clear by tomorrow."

Me: "Are you an angel from heaven?"



And that, ladies and gentleman, is the story of our embassy trip miracle. How cool is God? The kids seats cleared this morning and I paid for the tickets. We are ready to roll! and Marina and I are sending the agent flowers.

Leaving Saturday for Ethiopia!!!!!!!!!!

Attachment Plan

(I wrote this blog on Friday, 10/19/12).


This is is people. The game changer. The final inning.

We are still in limbo. Our I-171H (immigration) finally arrived this past Tuesday, but we are waiting on the results of the birth mother interview, which is going to be on Monday, Oct. 22nd. The embassy could clear us, require more documents or interviews, or send us to Nairobi. I'm choosing to hope/believe/pray/obsess that we will pass. And that we will travel on Oct. 27th. Why the 27th you ask? Well, Marina and Matt are flying then.....and I'd like Z and Shanbu to be able to talk (they speak the same dialect) on the 18 hour flight (pre-layover) home!!!! :)


It's almost the end (we pray!) of this specific journey, and we are expecting an email from the embassy fairly soon. This email will tell us that we are free to spend the remaining savings we have (four years of working 18 hours a day) to climb into a giant piece of metal and fly halfway across the world. I hate flying. But I'm DYING to climb into that aerodynamically impossible metal bird and sit in a cramped seat for 13+ hours. Because we will be flying to our kids. And THAT is surreal. (P.S. Our I-171H, also known as "immigration", arrived three days ago!!!)


While we are waiting for that precious embassy email, I'd like to explain our attachment plan to you. I'd posted it before, but I want to bring it up again, and this one has adjustments. A lot of what is below is directly copied from my previous post.


Now you may be thinking: an attachment plan? What???? What does that even mean? Why would they need one? Aren't they getting older kids?


An attachment plan is just what it sounds like. We have to figure out how to make our children trust us, bond with us, depend on us, and realize that we will NEVER leave them and that we will ALWAYS care for them.


We've spoken to multiple families (as well as our agency and social worker) who have adopted children of all ages on the topic and made our decisions for our personal attachment plan based off the information we have gathered.


Our kids each have a personal history that we will not be sharing or discussing. They have possibly been abandoned, have been moved multiple times with no warning or explanation, have had numerous adults in their lives (none of them permanent) and have had communication barriers (or no communication) with their care-givers for years. It can only be expected that they will have attachment issues. These issues could be a huge range of things but mostly likely will be an inability or struggle to attach to anyone, specifically an adult/care-giver OR the tendency to try to attach to EVERY adult they see. We want them to learn that WE are their parents forever and we want them to learn that it is safe to attach to us. We do not want them trying to attach to others.
Therefore: attachment-plan-a-la-Ruper. :)



So here is what we have decided. On our "airport day", the day when we finally come home with the kids, anyone and everyone is welcome to come to the airport. We WANT as many people there as want to come, to celebrate one of the happiest moments and greatest victories of our lives. :)


On the "airport day", anyone who wants to can come. You can bring balloons and signs and cameras. Basically, it's a party, except that we ask you do not GIVE our children anything, and also that you do not TOUCH them. No hugs or kisses. Imagine being taken from everything and everyone you know, leaving with two people you cannot communicate with, and not in your wildest imagination be able to envision where you are going. Imagine leaving a dirt courtyard with small wooden buildings where you sleep and then coming to AMERICA. Imagine being surrounded on the trip home by thousands of people you don't know who do not speak your language and being exhausted and given unfamiliar food and being forced through airport security and customs. Imagine FINALLY landing after 19+ hours flying (not including layovers) and being greeted by a large group of unknown white people (and you are used to seeing brown skin) and all of them want to touch and hug and kiss you. And you can't ask what's going on, who they are, or what's happening. Completely overwhelming. So we've decided that we cannot allow anyone to touch the kids. Anyone. Period. Thank you for your understanding and please feel free to hug me and Abe! ;)


Also, no presents, no snacks, etc. Thank you so much for your generosity but they need to learn that everything they need comes from us. This will do wonders in helping them attach to us and learn to trust and love us. (PS, if you want to SEND presents, or give them to me and Abe to give to the kids, that is fine with us. :))


After the "airport day", we will be staying home as a family to work on our new "normal" and to start bonding as a family. We will not be allowing visitors at all for about 5-8 weeks. During this time we will work on teaching them to trust us. Eight weeks may seem like a long time, but it really isn't. We will use an intuitive approach depending on how our kids do, but 5-8 weeks of solidarity is the plan. If we happen to make a trip as a family and you see us, feel free to say hello and chat but please do not touch our kids or give them anything. You CAN talk to them though; I'm sure they would love it. :)


After eight weeks, we will allow family and close friends, 2-3 at a time, to visit us if they want. During these visits, you are welcome to play with and communicate with our children! :) We would love that. And we are sure they will too. You are extremely important in their lives. The only clause is that you may not touch them (no hugs or kisses) and you may not give them anything. No presents. No giving them a drink if they are thirsty. No feeding them. No helping them complete a task. Abe and I will be taking care of that to ensure they know WE are their caretakers, even in the presence of other adults.


After ten-twelve weeks, we will evaluate how we feel our children are doing and figure out how we will proceed from there.


Thank you for your understanding! We love you all, are so glad to have you in our lives, and can't wait to introduce you to our precious children! :)

3....2....1.....

Okay, so Wednesday we got our embassy submission email. And our file-under-review email. Thursday we received another email saying that the embassy is requesting an interview with the birth mother. Most likely, the American Embassy in Ethiopia is just checking in to make sure that everything is being done legally and that the kids aren't being sold. Sometimes scheduling these interviews take weeks/months depending on the embassy's scheduling availability. However, on Friday we received yet another email, saying that the interview appointment will be Monday, Oct. 22nd, at 1pm. So exactly one week from today. Then the embassy will probably make a decision sometime next week as to pass us, request more documentation, or investigate our case.

After we clear, we give the embassy three dates we are available and they pick one. Then we go and get the kids!!!! We COULD travel early and pick up the kids before clearance but we would be stuck in Ethiopia indefinitely as the kids wouldn't have visas and other critical documents. And we are too poor to risk flying over and staying indefinitely. So we are waiting.

On that note, Marina and Matt cleared for Shanbu this morning!!!!!!!!! (That's right, her second BigBird came!!!) We are SO happy for them!!!!!!! Can't wait to see pictures of Shanbu with his Mommy and Daddy FOREVER!!!!! :)

EMBASSY SUBMISSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE GOT SUBMITTED TO EMBASSY YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEY ARE REVIEWING OUR CASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!


Typically the process is that you get submitted and wait a week to ten days to get s second email saying that they are reviewing your case. The embassy then has ten business days to decide if they will pass you, require further documention or interviews with the child's relatives, or investigate and send your case to Nairobi, Kenya. Since we got submitted yesterday, Oct. 10th, the embassy has till Oct. 24th to make a decision regarding what they want to do. To clarify, this is the U.S. Embassy in Ethiopia. Ethiopia has legally given us custody of the kids. Now the American Embassy in Ethiopia is going to look into things and make sure that everything is being done correctly and legally. After they clear us..............WE GO GET THE KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the LAST step, people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


We were extra blessed because we recieved our submission email yesterday at 4:17am (Ethiopia is seven hours ahead of E.S.T.) and then at 6:55am, we got another email saying that they have started the review process on our case!!!!! That made an awesome day even better; I was bouncing around all day and grinning like an idiot at anyone within 200 feet of me. I'm sure I looked like a creeper. Marina got her review email six days after submission and my friend Brandy got hers TEN days after. So three hours was a miracle. :) One other family was also submitted, reviewed, and CLEARED yesterday. That is a record in the history of embassy clearances!!!!! So happy for that family......we were at court with them, and they rock. :)

While we are thrilled to be submitted and under review, we are still waiting on a new I-171H (immigration) with our new address, and we can't travel without it. So if we clear embassy, but don't have our immigration paperwork.....then we are stuck. I have called our officer at USCIS three times and left messages but she has not returned my calls. I am hoping our letter is in the mail and on its way. Please pray that it gets here in time! It's the only thing we need besides clearance!!!!!!


I thought I would put down a quick timeline of our process here, since it is almost over! :-D These are the most important things that happened.

December 2009: started talking about startiung the process
January 2010: started the process.

01/29/10: Announced our decision to the world
03/01/10: Officially signed with EACI (an adoption agency)
05/27/10: Switched agencies (signed with AWAA)
02/18/11: Dossier to Ethiopia.....started waiting for a referral
07/31/11: Found out about Levi (and started fighting tooth & nail for him)
05/31/12: Levi and Zahria showed up on the Waiting Child List
06/21/12: Received our referral for Levi and Zahria
08/17/12: Court date (PASSED)
10/10/12: Submitted to embassy

1,015 days so far. <3

Update on the Kids :)

We finally got our September update on the kids!!! We've been waiting impatiently for almost ten days now haha. ;) I pretty much wear out my phone battery every two hours, since I check my email every five minutes now that we live for updates on the kids and an email (*hopefully soon*) from the embassy! Here is some brief info that we can share from the update:


Levi is signing "Dad" (Yes, that's right, I'm jealous! Where's my "Mom" picture hahaha????)

We love you tooo baby girl!!!!!!!!! <3

 

Zahria: Z is healthy this month (yay!). She now weighs 48lb (that's a total of 8lb gained since May!) and is about 4 feet tall. My baby girl is growing!!!!!!!! My favorite line from the update about her is, "She is a dearly loved child at the transition home; she has a beautiful smile and laugh but is a little bit shy. She plays with children cooperatively and with understanding. She is good at reading different children's fiction books and has been reading a lot. She has no fears about going to America and can't wait to start a stable family life."

From previous updates we have also learned that she loves puzzles, role-play, and injera (the local bread). She does NOT like milk. Z is in 2nd grade (although levels are different than in America).

In last months update, the ET staff said: "She enjoys participating in different physical acitivites like jumping, running, throwing, etc., and performs them competitively. Also, she is a polite, disciplined, and loveable child at the transition home. She loves you and can't wait to meet you again."



Levi: My boy is healthy (yaya!). :) He now weighs 90lb and is 4 feet 10 inches tall. My favorite comment about him from the update is, "He is sociable, cooperative, and an excellent child. He is very much excited to go to America and start a new life with his adoptive family. He repeatedly asks us when his adoptive parents will come and take him. He expects his mom to help him a lot to learn sign language."

Previous update information has told us that Levi is passionately interested and involved with all sports. I am predicting a LOT of time in a large grassy area watching him play haha. Already have a sports schedule lined up for both the kids haha! Registration starts in January!

Last month the staff in ET said this about him: "He is a very interactive and happy child. He interacts with all children and staff members in a healthy manner. He loves all the CDs you sent and wants to thank you very much. He has been watching the CDs repeatedly and has improved his language skills. He loves you and misses you a lot. He has been asking when you will come and can't wait to meet you again and start living with you."



Also, both children LOVE soccer. Did I say LOVE? I meant L-O-V-E. That's right people, I'm a soccer mom. ;) Guess I should start looking for a bumper sticker...... ;)

A Day in the Life of Marina and Me.

We are not clearing embassy this week. Again. I emailed the coordinator yesterday to find out, so that I wouldn't  be up all night waiting for a non-existent email. Her reply was no, that we would NOT be submitted. Again. And it's been seven weeks. But rather than dwell on that and obsessing about the possibility of NEXT Wednesday, I decided to write a post that will hopefully make you laugh. :)

So over this adoption process, you get super tight (allow me to translate my street lingo: "close") with people from all over the country. I've made sooooooo many incredible friends who I absolutely adore, and who I could not survive this process without. One of these lovely ladies is Marina, who is waiting for embassy clearance (we are positive she is not clearing until I am submitted; because we NEED to travel together ;)) and she and I have been texting almost 24/7 (no joke) for ten days straight. I thought you might like to see in on the texts of two desperate and crazy moms (we survived court together), so here you go! Welcome to the minds of Marina and Marissa. This is an edited selection of some of our texts from the past 24 hours. ;)


Warning: Reading the following may induce blurred vision, extreme laughter and/or stomach pain. Other possible symptoms include but are not limited to: bewilderment, shock, and the desire to never again look at this blog. Talk to your doctor before reading this post.






Marina: "I got the big bag!" (We sometimes eat our feelings....)

Marina: "Hey-I heard about a Big Bird sighting near you!! They say we might see him in the wee hours of Wednesday morning!!"

(To understand "Big Bird", "Muffin" and other such lingo, read "Club Soda and Muffins".) 

Me: "Hahahaha I freaking adore you!"

Marina: "I am standing here debating whether or not to wash my hair. Ugh. I hate getting ready :)."

Me: "Hahahaha just wear a scarf or headband and then you don't have to wash it!".........(two hours pass)......."How's your day babe? Did you wash your hair? LOL!"

Marina: "I did wash it and didn't have time to completely dry it and my work wardrobe is suffering in a serious way and my ass is huge because I live on pretzel M&M's so I look a LITTLE skeptical today :)."

Me: "Don't worry, I went to sleep with my hair wet and it dried vertical haha! I'm wearing a cloth headband thingy. And jeans. Because I feel like rebelling. And a pair of my work pants split down the front at work yesterday, BELOW the zipper!!!"

Marina: "NICE!!!  Hoping I have more time for the gym when Shanbu comes home. I just wear long shirts to cover up my panty lines. And I have the benefit of wearing a lab coat :) I miss u."

Me: "I want a lab coat !!! Then I would feel cool! And I miss u too! Why you no live near me??? :(  I demand that you and Matt move!"

Marina: "Ok. On it. Lol. So have you received an update?"

Me: "No, did you??????? OMG I'll beat someone haha...."

Marina: "Me too. I am jumping out of my skin over here. I feel like we will still travel together."

Me: "I'm not making it (embassy) tomorrow..........."

Marina: "It's gonna be good. We got this."

Me: "It's pouring rain here. Appropriate. I hurt too much to cry.."

Marina: "We will pray hard Marissa!!!! Matt is praying--he is WAY closer to God than the rest of us peons :). Lol. You want me to call and tell them to put a stat order on it? Xoxo I am sorry love...."........(hours pass)......."Cake and beer go together, right? I hope I eat healthier when Shanbu comes home. I also hope my desire to wash my hair daily and not wear sweatpants comes back."

Me: "LOLOLOLOl!!!!!! It will! You have to be the sexiest mama hahaha!"

Marina: "Oh yeah...Sexy...That's me!!! The ironing board seems like an appropriate place to leave all of our laundry--clean or dirty. It's really nice--all options are just displayed and you can just pick whatever you want. Matt prefers his laundry folded and neatly hung in the closet--I don't know what's wrong with him."

Me: "Omg I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard!!!"

Marina: ":) glad I could give you an ab workout!"

Me: "I think my Big Bird got hit by a plane. Maybe Carrie took him out by accident."

Marina: "Boo and hiss!!!"

Me: "SQUACK!!!!"

Marina: "I am praying something happens tomorrow....Good night my friend."

Me: "Talk to you all day tomorrow? Haha love youuuuuuuuu. P.S. I have a scone ready for breakfast. Basically a muffin..........We should go into comedy hahaha."

Marina: "We would be amazing as a standup!  Xoxo. Maybe someone cool will read it and we can be on SNL."

Me: "Omg go look at Jill's new pix of her baby *****!"

Marina: "Is kidnapping illegal?"

Club Soda and Muffins.

So we were told about a week ago that we were *hopefully* being submitted to embassy on Sept. 26th (this past Wednesday). Two of our good friends who went to court with us were also given this same news, and we were all VERY excited because several embassy cases within the past two weeks have moved QUICKLY. A few friends have been submitted and passed within FIVE days. This is practically unheard of. There are basically three possible outcomes at this stage in the game:

#1. Your case is held up indefinitely (waiting to be submitted to embassy) due to missing paperwork.

#2. You get submitted and then the embassy may hold off on your case and not review it indefinitely.

#3. You get submitted and the embassy reviews your case and makes a decision as to whether or not to investigate you further, or to clear (pass) your case.

Of course, we want #3. Two friends have gotten this and the embassy has cleared them in record time. They are leaving this week to go get their kids. JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!! A third friend also just cleared. Since I can't go over and get MY kids, these lovely ladies have kindly agreed to all take pictures for me, which should ease my heartache a little. I am also sending care packages with two of them (they happened to travel at the same time, so my kids will be overloaded with gifts!). I am sending shoes and a dress and t-shirts with our family picture of us and the kids silk-screened on the front, as well as picture albums with the house and from our court trip, tons of little toys, and snacks. I wish I could be there to watch them open the packages, but I should be there myself SOON, so I will be patient. :)

Anway. Abe left for Texas for a work conference on Sunday and I was trying to distract myself from the possibility of being submitted to embassy. Embassy submissions only happen on Wednesdays, and I didn't want to obsess, even though I was pretty sure we would be submitted. Right before Abe left, we went to a craft store and I bought a ton of flowers and plain head bands and little jewels. Then I spent the afternoon making Z a TON of headbands. I had made her some beautiful ones before, but I sent them all to Ethiopia for her. So I made a bunch for her to have HERE. They turned out great!!! I can't wait to see her wear them. :)

Sunday night I went to my BFF Jamie's house, and she and her daughter and I made welcome home t-shirts and poster signs for our friends who were bringing home their little boy from China on Thursday night. Our t-shirts turned out great. :) We did, "LIVE. LOVE. ADOPT.", stacked on each other in hot pink and then under the "ADOPT" I put, "Ethiopia" in bright yellow (Levi's color) and Jamie and her daughter did "Colombia" in green down the side of their shirts.

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday all day were spent working texting my girls Carrie and Marina, who were also waiting to be submitted. When you are waiting for embassy submission, there are only two days. Wednesdays, and not-Wednesdays. By Tuesday night we were almost losing our minds. Ethiopia is seven hours ahead of American time, so the earliest we could hear about submission would be 2am our time. The window is 2am-9am, and if submitted, you recieve an email. If you don't get submitted, there is no contact.

Marina decided that directly asking each other would be too hard, especially if one person passed but another did not. She came up with some code words to help us tell each other what was happening. If we got submitted, the code word was "Big Bird." (Don't ask why, it's just what we decided haha). If we did not get submitted, the code was "Muffin". I voted in a third one, to signal that we had heard nothing, and that was "Club Soda."

I'm not sure but I think Marina and Carrie were up most of the night. I tried to sleep because I have to wake up at 2:45am anyway for work, but I was pretty much texting back and forth with them ALL night inbetween nightmares. I figure it was because I was so stressed, but I had horrible dreams all night on and off as I cat-napped and in one, all my teeth but one fell out. I'm happy to say that Carrie laughed at me (instead of sympathizing) when I told her that one. Cause we are tight like that haha. :)

2:00am hit. 2:55am. No word. Marina texted out sadly, "Muffin." I was like, "No way, we are CLUB SODA till 9:00am!!!"

FINALLY at 6:21am we got the first "Big Bird" text from Marina. :) HUGE sigh of relief. I started checking my email like every minute. Nothing.

7:07am. Carrie got her "Big Bird".

7:30am.  I left my VRS job and headed for my second job. A friend from work texted me, "Ok, club soda text me as soon as your big bird flies away! Fingers crossed, just said a prayer, k?"

8:00am. I knew. Somehow, deep down, I knew. It wasn't happening. I was going muffin.

9:00am. 10:00am. I emailed our agency. Sometimes the embassy doesn't have the correct email address, so you are submitted but not notified. Somehow I knew this wasn't the case, but I asked anyway. 10:22am. We got an email from the travel coordinator. We were not submitted.

I was in class at that point. I had promised myself I wouldn't check my phone (I was interpreting 10-12) but of course I had to. Luckily since I had already felt like it wasn't happening, I didn't break down in class. But it felt like CRAP. Here my kids are waiting, asking for me, and we have been in this process SO long..........I was just hoping SOMETHING would start going right/processing quickly. Think again. I should have expected this to go wrong, like pretty much everything else. I can't express how overwhelmingly grateful I am that we passed court on the first try; THAT would have been devastating if we hadn't. This is just a minor set back. And the travel coordinator said she is hopeful we will be submitted next week. I want to hope, but I will believe it when I see it.

Missing my kids aside, last night was really cool because we got to see little Micah come home. :) Amy left for China a few weeks ago and the family flew in last night. We got to be party of the welcoming party home and it was so amazing. Micah is so precious and adorable and everyone was so happy. Jamie and I were bawling our eyes out of course. :) It was SO good to see it finally happening for SOMEONE. I admit wishing I was the one getting off the plane with MY babies, but seeing Micah was such a cool experience and the next best thing to seeing mine or Jamie's kids come home. Totally in love with my little nephew already. <3 :) We love you Micah!!! :)

Below are some pix from Micah's home-coming!

And. Hulet. Sost.

If you walk past me and hear me muttering things like, "And. Hulet. Sost. Arat. Amst. Sdst. Sebat. Smnt. Zetegn. Asr, ", don't be alarmed. It's just me counting in Amharic. I have been practicing a TON. My goal is to impress my little sweetheart with my amazing counting abilities. She was trying to teach us to count before we left and we failed miserably. So now I'm going to show her that I learned it just for her! She is smnt by the way! :)

I miss the kids so bad that I can't even explain it. Everything feels wrong and pointless right now. I just want them HOME. My self therapy consists of constantly trying to count in Amharic, or memorizing little phrases for Z. And I walk into Levi's room all the time and just stand there and cry. Work also anesthetizes the pain. Getting up at 3am and home at 10:30pm pretty much leaves you too tired to think and while I hate my work schedule, it's been a godsend. I don't have time to obsess over the kids. Literally. Four weeks ago yesterday we got on a plane to meet our kids. Four weeks ago today we saw their precious faces. Only four weeks, but it feels like a lifetime has already passed. It feels like a dream; like it never actually happened. And yet, I have one ring fingernail with splotchy layered orange nail polish to prove to me that it DID happen (I refuse to paint my nails again until ALL her nail polish has worn off). I have pictures that they drew for me on my fridge, and a homework assignment from Levi with a perfect score (he was SO proud). I have videos that I obsessively watch instead of working on my to-do list, because nothing matters except hearing Z's giggles and seeing Levi's precious smile. I have a chunky Ethiopian handmade ring that I bought as a reminder of my promise to their birth mom, which helps me feel close to her--as if she can know I will keep my promise, every time I look at it.

Every time I hear or see a plane, I get frustrated. I want to be on a plane, flying out of here, headed for my babies. Me, who HATES (despises/loathes) flying. I WANT to be on a plane. 

I am here and I am functioning, but I am a shell. My heart is halfway across the world with two precious brown-eyed angels. 

P.S. We received an update from our agency. We asked if the kids knew we loved them and are doing our best to get back ot them and this is what they said: "Yes, she (Zahria) is well informed and she loves you and can’t wait to meet you again. He (Levi)  knows very well!!! He loves you and misses you a lot. He has been asking 'When will you come?' and can’t wait to meet you again and start living with you." They also said (regarding Levi): "He loves all the CD's you sent and wants to thank you very much. He has been watching the CD's repeatedly and has improved his language skills." #bestillmyheart

A Letter To My Babies

*This was written about two weeks ago (Friday, August 31st)*


Dear Levi and Zahria,

I miss you. As in, words can't explain MISS Y.O.U. Ever since we had to leave you and come back to America, everything has been different. The world feels like it has gone gray; all the color sucked out of it. Nothing seems to make me happy now. All I can think about is you. What are you doing? Are you getting enough to eat? Do you miss me? Do you know I'm coming back for you? Do you think about me?

Daddy and I kept our watches on Ethiopian time. We're always looking at them and saying, "The kids are eating now," or "This is when we would be at the TH playing with the kids," or "They are sleeping right now." Knowing vaguely where you are and what you are doing is a little comforting. It helps us feel closer to you. 

Everything has been insane since we came home. Daddy started work the very next day. I got really sick and was home for a day with fever and terrible cramps and then I worked a half day. The next day I was back to both jobs. I think work is the only thing keeping me from losing my mind. I'm so busy all day that I can barely function, much less cry 24/7 about you. I'm so exhausted I can barely stand up, but the pain of missing you is dulled by the constant run from 3am-11pm. Everyone always asks how I do it; work 18 hours a day, that is, and my response is always, "For my kids. When I wake up, I look at their picture, and that's what gets me out of bed." Don't ever forget, my precious babies. I love you more than anything and I will do anything for you. 

Your Dad and I are insane. I just wanted to warn you, before you come home and have to figure it out for yourselves. We are totally out of our minds. How we are still alive is a miracle. Take this week for example. We were supposed to close on our house on Wednesday (yes, we are moving and it is a LONG story!!!). It didn't happen. We were rescheduled to Thursday. This was slightly (okay, VERY) stressful but we tried to go with it and just deal. Our social worker is scheduled to come on Wednesday night next week to do an update/addendum. Which means we have to be totally painted and moved in by that Wednesday. No big deal right? We're superheroes, so it's no problem. (*cough*) Then we got a call on Wednesday saying that Thursday wasn't going to work. The stress factor tripled. I spent a LONG time on the phone with my real estate agent, Abe, and the paralegal on Wednesday. And Thursday. They told me we weren't going to close. No closing? People, you don't understand! We HAVE to. Our adoption appointment is Wednesday. We HAVE to make this happen. If we don't, we can't get a new I-171H from immigration and then we can't be submitted to bring the kids home. How about pre-possession? (I have to say, our paralegal was FANTASTIC and I love her; she was SO willing to work with us.) Then my real estate agent called me at 10pm (she and her husband are AWESOME like that) and told me she had been calling the other attorney herself and pushing for us to get a closing date. On Thursday, we found out we would close Friday afternoon at 4pm.

AWESOME. Except that gives us Friday night, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday to paint and move in. No big deal, right? Oh wait, yes it is. Friday I work till 3pm. I will then be running to the bank for a certified check with most of what is left in our bank account. Then we will go to closing. We were told this could take hours. We are *POSSIBLY* picking up a table and chairs, washer and dryer tonight (thank you, Craigslist). Which means we have to borrow the truck from Jimmy. Then we intend to go and start taping the house in preparation to paint. And if we are lucky, get one coat down in the living room. I work at 4am tomorrow. So we will call it a night around 11pm and go back to the apt. Tomorrow (Saturday), I work 4am-8am. Then Callanach has a mini-show until 12pm and then I have to run and get more painting supplies and stuff from Home Depot. Back at the house by 3pm and then painting  like our lives depend on it. Sunday no work (thank goodness!) so up early to paint, and then church (where I WILL be interpreting). Then back to paint. Until late Sunday night. Because we have to be done then. Period. Monday is Labor Day. Abe has it off. I do not. His job will be to move us. I'll help when I get out. We need to be 90% moved by Monday night. Tuesday I work 4am-10pm and Wednesday I work 4am-6pm. Then the social worker comes at 7:30pm.

I'm not sure if this will actually work. It scares me to think about. I could really use Mary Poppins right now.