I haven't posted a lot about being sick. I mean, it's depressing and not very fun. Plus then people feel bad for me, and I don't want people only viewing me as only sick. I deal with it and function as normally as I can.....there's nothing I can do about it so why dwell on it?
Long story short, I have been sick for many years. At first, I wasn't even sure. I didn't think too much of it. But it started progressively getting worse. Especially when we were in the adoption process for Levi and Z. But I didn't go to the doctor because being seriously sick could have messed up their adoption, and right or wrong, hell or high water, I was bringing my babies home.
When Levi and Z came home, I got sicker. I ended up in the emergency room because of severe, random, and seemingly uncontrollable allergic reactions. You can read about that here:
Long story short, I have seen five specialists and many doctors. I have been tested and on guinea pig treatment plans for the past few years. I have tried all natural remedies and healing processes, and medication. A lot of what is wrong with my body happened because I work so much and never sleep and I understand that, but even if I had known what would happen and could go back in time to redo it, I wouldn't change anything. My kids needed to be home desperately, and I would give anything for them. And I did. Working 80+ hours a week for seven years and sleeping 3 (sometimes) less hours a night destroyed my already sick body. But I would do it again. In a heartbeat.
Basically, here's what I am dealing with:
-I have all the symptoms of several autoimmune diseases, except joint pain, which is a major factor, so the doctors are hesitant to label me with anything.
-My liver is not working properly; it's not filtering out toxins, so they are continuously cycling through my body. My body then tries to fight itself, resulting in severe allergic reactions to random (and ever-increasing) things: soap, metals, cloth, etc.
-I have three hormones that my body is not producing: cortisol (critical for your brain), adrenaline (critical to deal with any shock, surprises, or need to a quick reaction), and progesterone, related to my mood among other things. I am currently in the 4th and final stage of adrenaline failure. Most people in this stage are bedridden.
-Because my body has no adrenaline to deal with ANYTHING, it puts my heart at risk. So I am not allowed to work out, or stress (good luck) or anything that could strain my heart. Because it doesn't have a way to deal.
-I have been getting vertigo. Fairly often. and migraines. Sometimes vomiting. Abe has had to stay home multiple times because I am in so much pain. I am literally out for a day or two at a time.
-I had uterine issues last year and I will spare you the details but they are bad. I was told I needed two more surgeries for them, but to try medication for a year and see if it helped.
-Because of all these issues, I am also pre-diabetic, have high cholesterol, and am borderline hypertensive. I have gained a ton of weight. Literally, like 60lb. Which is so sad, because my diet consists of chicken, fish, broccoli, tomatoes, spinach, egg whites, water, and an occasional sweet potato. So unfair. My body can't handle anything. It just gains weight no matter what because it's just not working. My thyroid is borderline underactive, and that's not helping either. I am just going to say here, thank God for Abe. I can't even say in words what he means to me. He always treats me like I am the most beautiful person on earth and he never criticizes my body or talks about when I was fit. He just tells me how beautiful I am and how blessed he is to have me, and how gorgeous I am. I freaking love him. This man the ultimate.
Anyway, back to my story: I went on some meds for a year for my progesterone. Unfortunately, they didn't work, and the issues that are occurring put me at a super high risk for cancer. I was told (by a fourth doctor), that I should get an ablation to try and avoid cancer. Thankfully we were capped out of our premiums this year for medical insurance between all the kids and my many doctor appointments, so I went ahead and scheduled it. Ironically, it was scheduled for November 3rd, three years to the day since Levi and Z came home.
I have to admit, I was a little nervous. It's scary to have to go under on the operating table when you don't have any adrenaline and you have a million issues. The morning of, I made sure to do my makeup extra nice. Technically the instruction sheet said no makeup, but last year (I am thinking of making double surgeries my own personal November tradition) they told me I could have worn makeup if I wanted to. So I took full advantage of it this year. Abe's exact words were, "Wow, you aren't going for subtle, are you?" Hahahaha! :) I am proud to say that I received many compliments on my eyebrows from the nurses. :) Actually, the very first lady to take me back exclaimed, "D*** girl, them eyebrows is SHARP! I just gots to touch 'em!" and then she proceeded to try to wipe one off! When it stayed put (thank you Anastasia Beverly Hills), she exclaimed, "What, are they tattooed on there???" #bestcomplimenteverrrrrrrrrrr
Several people remembered me from last year and everyone made me feel more relaxed. They were super kind, and we joked most of the time. They even let me have my phone right up until I went to surgery. My surgeon was the same person as last year and we laughed about my November visits.
The surgery went great I hear (I was out, of course) and I woke up right after. Abe had told me that last time I took almost two hours to come out of anesthesia and this time I was determined to be faster. Apparently I woke up ten minutes after surgery. I wish I had slept longer; I was sick as a dog and in so much pain. I was determined to win the time crunch though. Abe kept rolling his eyes at me and being like, "Babe, SLEEP!!!" But I refused.
It hurt really bad. Like, INTENSE. They did a D&C and then they did the ablation.....meaning they radiated my uterus. I'm just gonna say.........PAINFUL. I went home, and for the first two days I was in pain, but it wasn't unbearable. It wasn't unmanageable. I was only on ibuprofen, and I rested on the couch. Now apparently when you have an ablation, you basically get contractions. Which is why my abs feel like I worked them out for 500 hours (I wish I was getting a six-pack out of this :)).
Thursday night, I fell asleep and woke up to the worst cramps in history. Sort of like waking up to a Charlie-horse, but way worse and in your stomach. I wanted to start screaming. I dragged myself to the bathroom where I cried like a baby and dry-heaved like I had the flu. I was pretty sure I was dying. Abe ran in and stayed with me while I suffered through a long and horrid night, where I hugged the toilet like it was a lifeline. I am just gonna say, it was hell, and I am super mad that I had to go through that and not get a baby in the end. Not that I want a baby at this moment, nor can I ever carry one now, but I wanted some kind of reward for that. Imagine going through labor contractions and cramps from Satan, except your uterus is all freshly burned inside. And the pain is so bad you can't stop throwing up. That was my Thursday night. Really fun times.
I called my doctor and she said that it was pretty standard and to try and rest. So on Friday I took Z to physical therapy, and we went to an eye appointment for me, went to FedEx for a missed package, and then back to the optometrist. Then I cornrowed Z's hair (it was in a fro and pretty much on the brink of tangle-city) and basically collapsed.
So that's the story of my surgery. Today was my first day back at work (2am-noon) and it's 8amand I am hanging in there. I have a Starbuck's passion tea lemonade (which is basically the only thing I have been drinking since Tuesday night.....pretty sure it makes up 75% of my body fluid right now) and I am 2/3 through my shift.
Thanks for all your prayers and love.....it really means the world to us and we love YOU!